Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Damn victory sex feels great
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
