4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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