Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I don't deserve a penis
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
