Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
