My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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