he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
