Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
