thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Randomize
