she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize