Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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