Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
