so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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