with your own penis?
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i think my tv is drunk
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
