Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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