one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
