My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
