the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
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