At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
