normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I got inside last night via doggy door
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
