you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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