I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
