that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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