Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
