You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
no, he came in my armpit
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
