Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
