you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
