I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
