Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
