White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
