ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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