She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
That's how pantless uber rides happen
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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