Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize