I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Vodka?
Forever.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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