she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
