ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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