I just pynch a tree in the face
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
