we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
