We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
