i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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