I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
