I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
