He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
