so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
