he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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