i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I need to calm my uterus...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
