There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
