This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
