Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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