I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize