He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
if i died would you start the facebook group?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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