Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Two words: blizzard sex
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
