Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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