she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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