At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
