Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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