We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
