He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize