do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
