Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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