They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
