Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
