areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
