Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
