your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
