I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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