he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
