I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
