Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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